I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
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