I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
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My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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