If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
