The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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