its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
