i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
