Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
