When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
