google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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