none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
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