your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
