Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
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