I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
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