This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
