apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
