Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
