Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
