his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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