He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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