I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Randomize
