I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
