I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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