you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Randomize