your thong is hanging out like whoa
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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