I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I just made out with a guy for $7.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
