But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
