my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
