Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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