Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
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