That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
