Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
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P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
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I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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