we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
