So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
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