You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
