So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
