I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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