dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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