she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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