last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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