you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Randomize
