i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Another day, another engagement, another cat
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
