I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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