Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
