I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
i've created a new STD.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
