yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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