Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
