I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
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