consequently i now know what mace tastes like
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Randomize
