worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
The Olympian is in my bed
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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