i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
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I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
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Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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