Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
You pole danced in your parka.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Randomize
