I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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